3 hot, new axe throwing products you may have missed.

It's hard enough keeping up with the important news these days, so keeping up with all the innovations coming out around our favorite little sport is almost impossible for a mom on the go. There's got to be a better way! Fortunately, your ol' friend Badger has scoured radio, television and yes, even the interwebs to find you all of the brand-new products that might turn your next league night into a glee night.

Wait.

...your next league night into a...man hold on.

...your next tourney into a fun journey? forget it.

Anyway, the only thing you'll be dropping is jaws with these hot new axe throwing products. (okay that one was pretty good for when I'm writing this. I still got it!)

Avoid getting distracted and bump up your average with lane blinders.

Lane sovereignty. Individual focus. Cutting out the "noise" of peripheral vision. Keeping your peepers on the prize used to be such a chore. But now you can ignore the shitty dance moves of your competitor and focus on what really matters: exactly what's in front of you.

The absolutely real product, called the FocusCap, allows you to live out your bronie life goals while also hitting your clutch goals. This is sure to be a big hit at the next tourney you attend, so don't miss your chance to be a style maker!

Make a statement without opening your mouth thanks to Catchphrase Chuckers!

Listen, the setup is kinda tricky on this one but I think it's a fun idea so stick with me:

What if, every time you threw, your axe shouted out a memorable, sensible-chuckle-level 1990's catch phrase once it hit the board? Well, with my imagination, it's possible!

Introducing CatchPhrase Chuckers - a new way to say Hasta la vista, baby every time you hit the bull!

Using simple...uh...impact technology? Gyroscopic activation? Uh...

By attaching a stylish, and state of the art collar on your axe, you can go from boring bulls to a crowd-pleasing Eat my shorts.

Pre-recorded 1990s hit exclamations include:

• I'm outtie

• Talk to the hand

• As if

• Da bomb!

• Booyah

• Home skillet!

Help grow axe throwing interest and entertain fellow throwers with a BTV

Axe throwing can struggle to bring in the normies. Hell, axe throwing can struggle to hold the attention of the people who are actively engaged with it. But not anymore! The BTV (back TV) allows throwers to entertain the masses while they entertain themselves. A little bit of the ol' mutual support, as it were.

This opens up HUGE opportunities for sponsorship, co-branding and, you know, actual entertainment in hour 6 of a marathon league.

I don't have a single picture to go along with this goof, because all the ones I found were either of children dressed up as TVs or depressing ones from a comic book. Use your imaginations.