IATF too busy this week to notice growing rebellion.

In what appears to be a planned, coordinated act, a group of IATF throwers have launched a multi-faceted rebellion against the iron grip of the IATF.

Calling themselves the IATF (Individual, Agitated Throwers Foundation), this group sprung to the spotlight this week, using the cover of IATC to overtake several IATF-affiliated axe venues in most national and international regions.

"We are here to take a stand against the oppressive ruleset the IATF pushed on us, and our new foundation will be a...a new...uh...foundation...for throwers across the globe who want to see change." said Willem Glormps, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, which we promptly ignored.

"For too long, the IATF pushed around IATF-friendly venues, and we're sick of it. We waited until everyone in their organization was focused on the big to-do in Toronto, and now we've got them right where we want 'em.

Rise up, throwers! Join the IATF!

I mean, the other IATF! Well, I mean our IATF, not the IATF," Glormps went on.

IATF Rebellion demands change. Confusing, weird, change.

While many of the differences between the IATF and the IATF are yet to be formally announced, there are a few key changes IATF spokespeople have shared on AXR, a Telegram group the rebels created to share dating advice and revolutionary plans:

• Every axe is legal, so long as you spent too much money on it.

• There will be two foot fault lines. No further explanation.

• Combining the Standard and Premier rulesets into one ruleset with the worst parts of both.

• Competitors can push each other over on the 5th throw of the second round.

• Calling for a measurement/science can only happen if you do it a little sexy-like.

• Points can be awarded for really good axe taps. But like, really, really good.

So far, reports of violence are low, with one venue sharing an IATF rebel pushed over a trash can, but as the venue owner was quick to acknowledge, the dissident may have just bumped into it.

Commissioner responds

IATF response to formation and actions of the IATF have been slow, presumably because of the International Axe Throwing Championship, but just as likely because, you know, why waste the time?

When asked for comment, the Commissioner of the IATF said he had no idea what anyone was talking about, why reporters kept saying IATF in two different tones, and if "that rat fink Glormps" was involved.

It's too early to tell how successful the axe-coup will be, but by all accounts, the rebellion is very tedious and half-hearted. Even in axe venues where the rebels managed to take complete control, venue owners managed to clear out the miscreants with push brooms and a strongly-voiced "go on, git!"

More as this story develops.