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Ye old axephorisms for a new axe throwing year.

A grey book with the text: Ye Old Axe Throwing Axephorisms, Wisdom and advice for the modern axe thrower.

For IATC last year, I handed out/hid little axephorism cards wherever I could, and I decided to start this year by creating twenty or so new ones. For those that don't know, an aphorism is a pithy little saying that's supposed to reveal a larger, universal truth. Think Benny Franklin's common sayings. You know. You know what I'm talking about. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," that sort of stuff.


Unfortunately, there are precious few aphorisms for axe throwing. I'm here to change that.


So here they are - the Axephorisms passed down generation after generation, lovingly collected by yours truly:


Text: Collins Ratings don't account for hangovers
Text: One who compliments their own throw will find few others who do the same.
Money spent at axe tourneys don't count until next week's bills
Text: Heckles should be gifted like flowers: given with intention, pleasant to witness, and with a short lifespan.
text: You don't rise to meet a tough match. You sink to your level of practice.
Text: tired knees make threes. Rested eyes make fives. Sleeping much earns a clutch.
text: minor improvements make for major wins
Text: before commenting on 81 attempts, listen to this: your comment is as welcome as a mouth full of piss.
An axe throwing vest is like a suit of armor: it's never been in a washing machine.
Beautiful axes don't make for beautiful throws.
text: Wet wood hugs axes good.
text: one who can laugh at missed clutches finds more occasions for joy.
text: The road to dropped axes is paved with lazy throwers.
text: a well-organized axe bag makes for a well-organized thrower.
text: Shouting at a bad throw is like shouting at a potato. Why are you doing that?
Text: don't judge your axes by someone else's bank account.
text: never trust a hungry dog or a fresh board.
text: perfection is the enemy of enjoyment, and chalk is the enemy of dark clothing.
text: A thrower who stays down when 3 points up may win the match, but not the crowd.


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