Axe Couples Counseling

If you could wager on "most common responses to a question posed to a community," I’d put the house on knowing the axe community’s most common answer to: “What’s your favourite thing about Axe Throwing?” 

“The people, the community, the friends I’ve made.” 

From tournaments to league nights, the one and done, to the casual bump into each other at a practice session, the relationships we create with like-minded people in this sport are the spices that enrich the activity, and make everything more betterer.  

If axe throwing is a big ol’ melting pot for bringing folks together, Doubles is the crucible forging the strongest bonds. Done right, a doubles pairing can lead to the ultimate form of Axe Friendship; The Axe Couple (aka Axe-Bros, Axe-Gals, Axe-buds, Axe-Marriage.) 

Axe relationships offer up so many potential highlights and warm fuzzy moments. We all long for that special connection, the inside jokes, the party clutch crowd pleasers, the cute little costumes.

But there can be pitfalls along the way, if you’re not careful you can hurt each other, clashing and falling out is not uncommon. As part of the Axe Badgers advice column specials, I’m bringing in an experienced Doubles team to discuss some frequently asked questions and to help us navigate a couple of the big issues that can de-rail Axe relationships. 

Joining us from the sports capital of Australia, are one of Melbourne’s favourite Axe Couples Nat Neilson and Scar Louise (aka Scatty) to share their Axe Couples Counseling advice.

Starting out 

Aussie Badger: Doubles is a rapidly growing sector of our sport, more and more people are looking on with envy at how much fun couples are having in the lanes together, and wanting a bit of that for themselves. As people begin the search for axe partners, what are some tips you guys can offer up?  

Natty - When I first asked Scar to throw doubles with me, I felt that it was like asking someone out to the school formal –high stakes and a good chance of rejection. As time has passed, I have realised that doubles doesn’t have to be a heavy permanent commitment, it can be thrown in any combination and at any time, such as at a training session or after a league night. I encourage everyone to try it, and to try it with different partners, as long as both are there to enjoy themselves, have a growth mindset and are happy to get the axe they’re using chopped up a bit.  

((While we at Axe Badger recognise the validity of all lifestyle choices, frequent partner swapping has been shown to lead to increased cases of Tool Damage, as such we feel it’s a good time to mention proper protection. Prophylactic tape or wrap can prevent or reduce penetration, and therefore minimise splitting of the shaft. Try to be aware at all times of the nearest aid station or Axe hospital, if damage does occur seek immediate restorative care.)) 

Can I assume you both support this "open relationship" swinger-esque lifestyle, where you give each other Hall Passes to get between the lanes with other throwers? 

Scar - 100% So long as we have consent and communication, we’re happy to share the love. Personally I thinks it’s super fun to be out there “swinging” sometimes. The more we play with other people, the more we learn and can bring back to our own team.  

A “…cake and eat it” too? 

How do you Axe swing and stay faithful, or handle the jealousy?  

Natty - I don't know about Scar, but I'm not sure that “faithful” is quite right. Like any relationship, it's a continual renewal, rather than an "unto death do we part" promise. I can't imagine a time when I wouldn't want Scar to be my partner (or at least my main one), but that doesn't determine anyone's future.

To be truthful, it did hurt at first when Scar asked to partner with Troy for his last big event before moving back to Sydney, but we're both grown-ups and I soon saw it as an opportunity for potential growth. Since then, I've really embraced throwing with other people and with different set ups. While I count down for team Scatty to throw, Drop Bear counts for Team Fika when she can see that I have finished my mental wrestles. We also aim for different sides of the bullseye and different clutches. 

Scar - I know Natty practices doubles with lots of people at Knox, and his personal improvements show what those experiences have done for his own game. As a team, I know that mixing things up, and even just watching other teams helps us find ways to work together.  

Wait you guys watch other couples? Do they know, is this with their consent? 

Scar -  Hahaha - Call me a Voyeur, it’s a lot of fun watching the style and technique of others, I get a lot out of it. For instance I got the idea of having my hand on Natty’s back as we throw from watching Penny and Pav at IATC last year holding hands as they threw. I gave it a try as sometimes I can’t hear Natty’s count because he’s so softly spoken and venues can be so loud, even if I don’t hear him I can usually feel the rumble of voice through his shoulder, or worst case, feel him move so I know to start stepping.

Like good dance partners it’s about feel, trust and cooperation, and when we get it right it’s just really beautiful and fluid. 

Help with the pick ups 

Getting back to asking people if you can “Tap that axe”, how do you know if you’re going to be compatible with someone; if you’ll “work” together? 

Natty - At first, I felt it was important each partner’s throw was similar, or at least complementary, but now I think that any two people can do it, as long both are flexible, respectful and can communicate well. It might even be the case that the larger the adjustment needed, the greater the opportunity for personal (and potentially team) growth.

Both mine and Scar’s throws have changed a bit over the time we’ve been together, but I definitely feel that the chemistry, kindness and respect is as strong as ever.  

This brings up an interesting point and a question I’ve been considering for a while: Do you think there’s a perfect partner out there for you? The other puzzle piece that will just snap into place and complete you?

Or are relationships like a canvas you both bring your colours to, and through watching, talking, sharing, and compromising, together you create one mingled work of art; never truly finished, beautifully flawed? 

Natty - It's 100% the work of art, whether it's good, bad or ugly. For me, the puzzle piece view of any kind of relationship reflects a fixed mindset, rather than a growth one.

I would also advise that if it looks like compromise is the only way forward, keep thinking - there might be something that both people can do differently that helps them both individually and as a team. 

You guys seem like a really strong Axe Couple, I know you even refer to yourselves as being an “Axe-Marriage”. How did you guys find each other, what things should the single and searching crowd out there be looking for in a potential Axe partner?  

Natty - There are a few things that drew Scar and me together (from my perspective, anyway). We hit it off when we first met at a practice session, before we even threw. Then, once we were throwing in a league together, I could see that our throwing styles would work together well. We weren't able to practise because of LP policy, but we had a good idea that things would work out well when we could.  

But ultimately, all a pair needs are the right approach and good communication . Queen of Threes and Dr Math, for example, are a great team, and have very different throws, with Rach throwing two-handed and Nathan one.  

Like any relationship, the keys are communication, respect and feeling safe to be yourself, safe to try new things and safe to make mistakes. 

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Thanks guys for your invaluable input into this intriguing and exciting part of this sport we love. I’m sure countless throwers out there will have gained some useful insights through the wisdom you’ve shared with us today. For anyone who’d like to get to know our guests on a more intimate level, see below their joint responses to the Aussie Badger Questionnaire:  

Names 

Scar and Natty 

Throwing Names 

Scar – was Flaming Ho, now BinChickin 

Natty – Natty Noo 

Together – Scatty 

Story behind throwing name  

There isn’t one, but it’s not Scatty as in “scat”💩, to be clear. We are both slightly scatterbrained, so it fits, and “scatty” reflects our throwing a fair portion of the time.   

Scar’s throwing name of Flaming Ho is due to her painting her axes pink and glittery, which resemble flamingos. 

Natty’s throwing name has always been Natty Noo. At first, he considered “Lab Rat” because he was funding his throwing through participation in clinical trials at the time. He has also at times considered changing it to “Slo-Mo” (IYKYK) but will stick with Natty Noo for now. 

Where you throw  

We started throwing at Lumber Punks, but, since LP closed at the end of last year, we each now throw at Maniax in Abbotsford. Natty also throws and practises at Maniax, Knox. One day, Team Scatty hopes to throw in Toronto as part of the IATC. 

How long you've been throwing  

Natty – 2 and-a-bit years, including the time prior to Lumber Punks affiliating with the IATF 

Scar - around 18 months  

Together - since March 2024  

What axes you throw  

Scar  

(Singles) a custom 81 Axes Shopro and a Warriors Reaper.  

(Doubles) a Renegade and a Reaper for clutches.  

Scar hates big axe. Hates it. But  

(Big Axe) Hultafors 900g …when she must.  

Natty (Singles) a straight-handled Flying Fox and a Butcher for clutches.  

(Doubles) a curved-handled Flying Fox.  

Natty loves big axe. Loves it.  

(Big Axe) a Hultafors Agdor Montreal in a big axe league and whenever he can engineer a tie-break in hatchet league. 

Proudest achievements  

Together - Coming 4th in our second ever marathon together. This came as a complete surprise, but we have a tendency to really pull it together in finals.  

Scar’s proudest achievements are hitting her first 81 during her second season of league, qualifying for IATC and attending after only 8 months of throwing. 

Natty’s proudest personal achievements are getting his first 81, receiving some MVP awards (or “coach’s pet” as someone once described them), sponsoring Scar’s 81 coin (and some others’ as well), a podium finish in Battle Axe’s Under-55 Tournament in January, and a Premier league win at Knox last season. 

We were also privileged to see Showpony throw the world’s first ever premier unicorn. 

Personal goals  

Maintaining our finals performances during seeding/round robin games. 

Training regime  

Scar - Show up. Throw.  

Natty is working towards an approach to training that is a bit more planned, targeted, and evaluated. He is finding the book “Practice Perfect” to be really useful (although it is mainly about teaching, which means that it can count as work), and likes to find out and try out what other people do in their practice sessions. 

Tournament prep  

Scar - Show up. Throw. 

Natty – Yeah, but before we get there, there is always a bit of work to do repairing our axes from our last outing and getting our new shirts designed and printed. Natty also has quite a bit of food prep to do, but at least he doesn’t need to share with Scar, who once said, “Everything Natty has asked me to put in my mouth is disgusting.” 

Keys to success  

We’ll let you know when we figure it out?  

No, no. Scar says that it’s about just enjoying the moment. Going in with no expectations and using the doubles games to have fun and practise throwing.  

Natty’s biggest improvements have come from having great coaching from Showpony and Drop Bear, great mentors and rivals (who might not even know they’re doing it), working on his mental game and simplifying his throw.  

Advice for the hungry  

Scar – Have a snack (but don’t try anything that Natty offers you.) 

Natty - Watching others, asking them questions, being open to advice. I suggest people throw in the toughest leagues they can find, pretty much always clutch (unless there is the possibility of engineering big axe), take the losses and crap numbers, and look at every disappointing performance as a learning opportunity.

Be kind to yourself when things aren’t going well. Look after yourself as you would a friend. (Throwing doubles is also great because it means that you can bring your friend with you.) There’s a lot that we can do outside the lanes, like reading blogs and books, listening to podcasts, learning about mindsets, practice, and performance more generally, and practising mindfulness and other forms of self-care.