IT'S CLUTCHMISS! HAPPY CLUTCHMISS!

YES! YES! GATHER ROUND DEAR THROWKIN! IT'S TIME!

CLUTCHMISS IS HERE!

Now, for those of you who don't pay attention to every fakakta idea I share here, Clutchmiss is a celebration for axe throwers that allows us to come together, appreciate each other, and make offerings to Clutchy for fewer missed clutches in the coming year.

I think that's what I said last time? I don't really remember. Anyway, it doesn't matter. The beautiful thing about Clutchmiss is how it doesn't have any set starting date or rules or observances. Point in fact, it's exactly what you need it to be, exactly when you need it.

CLUTCHMISS CELEBRATION TRADITIONS

As a quick refresher, let's talk about how to celebrate:

• Shouting "HAPPY CLUTCHMISS" every time you miss your clutch from Dec 12 - Dec 23.

• Putting out your offering to ol' Saint Clutchy (PBR, broken axes, and cheap, broken cigs)

• Singing traditional Cluchmiss songs

• Giving your fellow throwers little gifts during league nights and tourneys - like drinks, snacks, or un-warranted compliments.

• Decorating targets

• A bonfire of used up boards

• Send Clutchmiss postcards to your fellow throwers, the more ludicrous the better

• Whatever else you want. Everything is a Clutchmiss tradition during Clutchmiss.

CLUTCHMISS CAROLS

Last year, I shared The 12 days of Clutchmiss carol, which An Axe League of Their Own very graciously gave life to at the tail-end of a podcast (which made me feel like a very smart, very important person). But I thought I'd share a new one with y'all in honor of the season. For those among you who aren't a member of the tribe, it's based loosely on Oh Hannukah (here, done by the Glee cast).

Clutchmiss, Oh Clutchmiss

Clutchmiss, oh Clutchmiss Let's drink a fresh PiBr Mishear the score call call the scorekeep a fibber Going up and big axe A new hatchet? How neat! Hey, you crossed the red line, I'm watching your feet. And while we, are throwing My clutch throws are always low (so low)

Round one was alright, Round two was a fright Round three filled my heart with woeeeee Round one was alright, Round two was a fright Round three filled my heart with woeeeee

Somewhere in Lancaster, Rabbi Jack just felt a little nauseous. Sorry, Rabbi.

But Badger (I hear you say), I don't know how to get started with my Clutchmiss celebrations.

Worry not, my Throwkin! Just follow my lead when it comes to Clutchmiss: anything you decide that is fun, open, and celebratory is Clutchmiss! You wanna have a little potluck at your next league in honor of the 12 days of Clutchmiss? Yes! That's the correct way to celebrate! Wanna stay home and watch GBBO while whispering what the contestants should have done? Sure, that's Clutchmiss, too.

The reason for the season is that there's very little reason. Clutchmiss is always here, waiting.

Watching.

Speaking of watching, look out for future Clutchmiss posts, where we go into deep dives around how to celebrate, and honor the people who are certainly on Clutchmaclaus's "not-as-naughty" list!