This is my 200th post - let me disagree with myself a lot and also say thank you.

Well, dear reader, we've reached yet another milestone on this blog: No, the IATF hasn't sent me a cease and desist letter, nor has a maker sent me a bunch of money and asked that I review their product "honestly" (though if anyone wants to send me a couple hundred, don't let my flippant behavior deter you). No, dear reader, this is the 200th post, ever on the blog.

It seems silly for me not to acknowledge a huge truth: this site wouldn't have made it this far if not for the amazing reception and support you have shown me. Whether it's people giving me a lil' thanks at a tourney, or people commenting and liking posts, or the network of writers that have joined me (still reaaaaal open to more of that), the longevity of this blog is entirely because of other people, and I'm not an idiot about that.

But I am an idiot about plenty of other things. Or, if not an idiot, certainly...what's a nicer way of putting it...under-informed about stuff - even when I present that misunderstanding with my full chest.

In an effort to acknowledge and re-order my thinking, I took a lil' look at some of the first blog posts ever published on the site. Really, just to see how my thinking has changed from then. So without further hubbalub:

My very first "I just learned this, so people must not know about it" post:

On June 15th, 2023, I wrote this gem:

One of my very first posts was about trying to get better - not even that, tho. Listen.

I wrote a post about how to get better at axe throwing. Me, riding high on my absolutely unpredictable performance and relative newness to the whole ding dang thing:

"So if you're a new thrower who's looking to strengthen the consistency of your throw while not going bored-dumb over the repetition, give it a try. Hopefully you'll get more confident in your throwing and see some good returns during your league matches!"

Like, I don't think the flying V is a bad part of practicing, but I was just so...presumptive (?) in how much I thought this was a hot take. And the metrics show it: 34 whole people viewed this post. And, dear reader, I felt like hot shit for every single peeper who glanced at it.

My very first goof-em-up post

It only took 5 posts before I decided that I was gonna be a little stinker. On June 19th, I decided to set my little badger-y eyes on the IATF's upcoming rule changes. But I didn't want to really research anything, and I didn't really want to think about it, so I just made absolutely everything up:

Now, this post is important, as it was the first (and maybe the last??) time I broke 700 views on a single post. It was just three jokes.

1. A joke about the "Road to IATC" flow chart

2. A joke about using Silly Puddy to measure throws, and

3. this joke about a new premier box:

Now, the clutches will not be marked on the target, and premier clutch location will be randomized through Axescores.com. Instead, all throwers must throw where they think the clutches are, take a picture of their throw, and send the picture via USPS to IATF offices.

Within 2-3 weeks, IATF officials will send back a notification indicating whether the thrower did indeed hit a premier clutch.

Honestly, I can see it was some concise work. And if it didn't go gangbusters for a blog that was just starting its journey, I reckon the trajectory of this site would have shifted quite a bit. But the popularity of the thing made me really feel empowered to be a silly goose. And a silly goose I have become.

My very first "I don't agree with this anymore" post

On June 19, 2023, I wrote a blog post about how assuming a clutch throw - or maybe expecting the clutch throw - from another player who is within winning distance is not sporting.

And like...hmm...

I don't think I disagree with the spirit of what I wrote: namely that pushing another thrower to do something they don't wanna do is shitty. BUT I know what I was thinking when I wrote it, and what I was thinking was "I'm not good enough at clutches, and I feel cornered by better throwers who are asking me if I'll go up with them."

My thinking, now, is more simply put as this: I treat clutches as mandatory in my own game (until it's tourney time - but even sometimes then, too) - but I'm not ever gonna give a thrower shit for staying down and winning. Like, that's on me, too. I've become a much more "I'm throwing against myself" thrower and less of a "I'm trying to beat this other thrower" kinda guy. But man-o-days I had some vinegar in that post.

My very first "This matters" post

It took all the way until a post on August 10th, 2024 for me to write something that felt like it was important, valuable, and adding something to the community:

It's kinda hard to explain why this one was so important to me. I think it's because Urban Open 2024 was the very first time I felt comfortable. Comfortable with the people around me, comfortable with allowing myself to think I could take up space, ask questions, and engage people. Comfortable being myself and not apologizing for it.

But that's the thing, I think: it's easy to skip over all of the special, not-axe-throwing things that happen in the sport. And, for me, the Urban Open was a real chance to get a glimpse into all those little moments and really celebrate them. I couldn't care less about how I did in the actual tourney (dear reader: not well. 0-2, though I threw very well for myself, and loved it), if only because the experience of being around so many lovely axe throwers was really the reward.

In short, I guess, I felt like I belonged. And while that feeling has stormed out and whispered itself back to me a few times, overall axe throwing has been remarkably kind to me, and this post kind marks the first high point I experienced and shared on the site.

So, anyway, I guess I want you to know I'm not tearing up while writing this post, and I'm definitely not thinking about how lucky I am to be appreciated and enjoyed by axe throwers all over the world. I'm for sure not having a hard time seeing what I'm typing on the screen while I remember every kind word that's been said to me about this site.

Well, I guess I'll see you all in the 201st post. Thanks again.